It's a Man's Man's Man's World: BUtterfield 8 (11/19/2008)

My job at THE Company was always such a boys club. Perhaps I felt that way because I was a lowly admin surrounded by the egos of self important sales men. Maybe it had something to do with my boss sending me out to find him a breakfast sandwich each day at 11, when every deli in the greater New York area had already stopped serving breakfast. It could have been the locker room talk or the cigar smoke and long lunches I wasn’t invited to join in on, but the feeling was palpable.

In these post sexually revolution days, we keep being told that women make up half the work force and receive “equal pay for equal work”. That doesn’t mean that you always feel that equality.

After several years with THE Company I had worked there longer the almost everyone else and was no longer interested in being talked down to by men who thought they were more important than me. I was tired of using space in my brain to store someone else’s coffee order and pushing collar stays into my boss’ shirts. I was quickly losing my small town sweetness and my temper.

This process was excelarated when after several years I was moved to a new office composed entirely of men. My new boss and I were the only women in the mix. When my co-worker invited us all to his guest bartending shift at BUtterfield 8, I watched as my male co-workers paw at women. I listened to hard talk about dating and booty calls, but any interject into the conversation on my part was unseemly. After all I wasn’t one of the boys.

Tired of the double standard I left to meet my friends Summer and Jamie at an Upper Eastside pub. When Jamie arrived she was fresh from an equally frustrating day in her own male dominated office. Jamie had been logging massive amounts of overtime in the past two weeks preparing for a board meeting. She had done 90% of the work pulling the meeting together and was finally done. Her male co-workers were excited to be done with the project as well and decided to celebrate with a big steak dinner. They made plans and then popped into Jamie’s office to ask;

“Are you going home soon?”

Despite her contribution and hard work, they didn’t invite her. She was the only one who was not invited and the only woman.

“I’m sick of it!” She vented, well into her fourth drink. “It’s such a boy’s club. They leave me out, just because I have a vagina!”

“You know what, I like my vagina” I countered

The girls nodded with me. We ordered a round of shots.

“To vaginas!” I toasted

"TO VAGINAS!!!” They repeated as if we were starting a small revolution in the bar.

"Can I get your next round?" The man next to us leaned in and asked.

Screw the boys club. Screw the double standard. Screw the "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" mentality.

It may be a man's world, but I don't want to be a man. There are no free drinks when you're a man.

"Yes, you can" I answered

Besides, I like my vagina.

*Recognize this song title? Post in the comments section